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How to Meet Men: A Quick and Easy Tip

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Ready to meet men? My friend, Ronnie Ann Ryan, is a dating coach who insists that the key to unlocking a quarry of good available guys is to talk to new men every day. All you have to do is smile and say hello, she says.

So, if you’re in a coffee shop, and there’s a man in the vicinity, you smile and say hello. And see what happens.

What happens if he doesn’t say hello back?

It means he’s a dud. Don’t worry about it. Smile and say hello to somebody else.

What if he does say hello back?

Ah, well, the pressure’s on now, isn’t it? You’re going to have to come up with something clever to say to keep up the conversation, right?

Not necessarily.

I am one of those introverts who says she hates small talk, but it’s a gift when you’re meeting someone new. Think of small talk as an entrance ramp to a more meaningful conversation.

My friend, Helen, who was bewitchingly successful with men, taught me this years ago. If you can’t think of anything to say, she said, “the weather always works.” So mention the weather, but keep it cheerful.

If it happens to be raining for the fifteenth day in a row, you can make a joke. “Good thing I brought my canoe,” could work. Or, just toss off an offhand comment about what a gorgeous green the grass is going to be when the sun comes out.

Whatever you do, take the pressure off. No need to whip out your resume or launch into your life story. Keep it light and see what happens.

What if you meet some jerks?

Oh, you will definitely meet some jerks. Brace yourself. I wish I could reveal a formula for spotting jerks before starting a conversation, but I don’t have one.

If, in your quest to meet men, you come across somebody who gives you the willies, trust your instincts and steer clear. Otherwise, say hello and see what happens.

According to Ronnie, dating is a sifting process. So is meeting new men. You’re only going to want to get to know some of them better.

What if you put yourself out there, and you don’t meet anybody?

You’ll meet somebody. Ronnie promises that you’ll not only meet men but you’ll meet somebody special. She says that anytime a client acted on this plan and kept it up, she found a good steady boyfriend.

You may have to say hello to one hundred men before you meet one who’s boyfriend material, but if you’re serious about finding the right guy, it’s worth it.

So, are you up for it? All you have to do is smile and say hello.

And see what happens.

If you like this post, please share it. If you have a tip for meeting men, leave a comment!

It’s Time to Stop Feeling Sorry For Single Women

Stop Feeling Sorry For Single Women
Girls just want to have fun. Women’s March, Stamford Connecticut, January 21st 2017.

It’s time to stop feeling sorry for single women because they’re happier than just about everybody. Three of the most fun and joyful people from my childhood were aunts who never married. They ate what they wanted, saw whom they wanted, and traveled when they wanted. They made their own money and kept their own names.

At the same time, a constant societal noise proclaimed that a woman had to be married to be happy, liked, and successful. Single women were deemed sad and unwanted losers, sufferers of some sort of defect. Ending up “left on the shelf” was considered a fate worth than death.

Some things about marriage are annoying

I feared being left on the shelf, but from an early age, I feared certain things about marriage even more. I noticed that married women didn’t get vacations. They worked on weekends and on holidays. At parties, they helped out in the kitchen while the men sat in the living room laughing and calling for fresh beers. I didn’t like the fact that weddings cost women their identities.

Eventually I did marry, but not until I turned 30. I didn’t take my husband’s name at first, but after we had children, people called me “Mrs. MacDonald,” or worse, “Mom,” so I went with it. I called myself “Terry Hernon MacDonald,” fearing that nobody would have the time or patience for “Marie-Therese Hernon MacDonald.”

As my children got older, I used MacDonald less and less. It’s a fine name, but it’s not my name. So, here I am, Marie-Therese Hernon again. (If that’s still too long for you, please call me Terry.)

Single women like being single

I’m married, but I have single friends. Without exception, they say they are a) not in a hurry to meet a man, or b) not interested in meeting a man for as long as they live. These women genuinely like men, value their friendship and companionship, but none of them is is willing to dip a toe into a situation where they may end up being controlled, devalued, or unheard, which is still too prevalent in hetero relationships.

(The man who wrote this article is an exception. He shows how women’s lives are put at risk because they are not heard in emergency situations.)

And that’s the problem. A lot of men like to dominate, and a lot of women aren’t into it. We never have been into it. Economic and social factors forced us to put up with it for centuries, but single women are increasingly picky. They want men who love them and make their happiness a priority. They will settle for nothing less.

(Think Hugh Jackman, not Mel Gibson.)

In college, a male professor told me, “After a man dies, the widow starts living.” I didn’t want to believe him. I knew unhappily married people, definitely, but my parents loved each other. More important, they liked each other. But as I got older and saw my friends legally bound to gas lighters and garden variety control freaks, I got the drift.

Now I’d go as far to say the same thing of divorced women. Despite the fact that they’re often disadvantaged economically after severing ties with a husband, the ones I know are really very merry. Any social stigma that remains for divorcees doesn’t trouble them. They’ve dived back into freedom and happiness with abandon.

So, stop feeling sorry for single women. They’re happier than everybody.