Ready to meet a man? Conventional wisdom favors churches as sources of good men over bars, where, it’s said you’ll only meet drunks and losers.
But I disagree.
You absolutely can meet a good man at church, but you can just as easily meet a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Think about it. If you were a wolf, where would you go to meet sheep? I’m guessing you’d go where sheep congregate. Women assume because they meet a man at church that he’s holy, kind, and well-mannered, but some people at church are bigoted, hypocritical, and predatory.
And I know for a fact (because I’ve seen it) that some men join specific “Christian” churches where women are expected to walk ten paces behind their husbands. Such men join these congregations with one goal in mind: To find a woman they can enslave for the rest of her life.
But, if you insist on making church your man quarry, please be at least as careful as you would if you went out to meet fellows in a bar. Truly listen to a man when he speaks. Don’t assume anything. People are on their best behavior at church, so be sure to meet him in other places to see how he behaves. Make it your mission to really get to know him.
If possible, get him drunk.
My mother used to tell me, “Ladies do not get drunk,” but an ex-boyfriend’s mother disagreed with this philosophy. She said, “It’s when a woman’s drunk that you can tell if she’s a lady.”
The same goes for a gentleman.
Is he a gentleman?
When you meet a man in a bar, you get to see how he handles alcohol. You get to see if his mood takes a dark turn after a couple of beers.
If there’s a game on television, you get to see how he behaves when his team loses. You get to see how he behaves when his team wins. You get to see how he treats other people. You get to see if he drinks and drives, or if he’s man enough to call Uber.
In other words, you get to see if he’s a gentleman.
You’re not going to find this out at church, not right away at least. You may come away with the wrong impression that a man who attends church doesn’t hang out in bars, but for all you know, the guy is a dry drunk trying to distract himself by selling raffle tickets for the parish carnival. He could be a drug addict. He could be a serial killer eluding capture. You just don’t know.
You hate bars, you say?
Bars are not for everybody, and maybe you’ll meet a man who doesn’t like them, either. If someone catches your eye at church or in some other community of seemingly good citizens, the key is to be friendly and remain alert. Don’t ever delude yourself into thinking that because a guy belongs to a Bible study or a poetry club that he’s been properly vetted.
Always, always, always watch how a man treats other people. Hear how he talks about other people, particularly women. If he’s badmouthing his mother, sister, ex-girlfriends, and female bosses, he is not the guy for you.
Run for the hills.
Make sure you spend time with a potential boyfriend in a variety of other settings. (Some “Christians” are notoriously bad tippers who think the world owes them something in return for their so-called holiness.)
When you want to meet a man, look for somebody who treats others — especially women — as he’d like to be treated. You’re not more likely to meet that kind of man in a church, and you’re not less likely to meet him in a bar.
The bottom line is this: Wherever you decide to go to meet men, hold out for the best. This is your life we’re talking about.
How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams is on Kindle. If you liked this post, please share it. If you have a comment, let me hear it!