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Christians and the Law of Attraction

Christians and the Law of Attraction

Christians sometimes hesitate to use the Law of Attraction for fear that it will offend God, especially when proponents throw around the word Universe all the time, as if the Universe created itself and everything in it.

But if we acknowledge that the God is the architect of the universe, I don’t see a problem. God created the Law of Gravity, and while I respect the Law of Gravity and know that it “works” no matter what, I don’t mistake it for God. I don’t worship it.

I don’t worship the Law of Attraction, either, but I respect it.

What is the Law of Attraction?

It’s a pretty easy concept. It says that like attracts like.

If you’ve ever heard the expressions, “the rich get richer” and “birds of a feather flock together,” you know what I mean.

Previously unsuccessful people activate the Law of Attraction by doing and saying things to make themselves believe they’ve achieved some sort of success. Then they achieve it. That’s an example of like attracting like.

People activate LoA through various means:

– Visualization (or mental rehearsal)
– Affirmation
– Scripting ideal days, situations, or relationships
– Acting ‘as if’

To achieve the desired result, one must cultivate faith.

“Faith is the realization of what is hoped for, and evidence of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1

What I found out about the Law of Attraction and faith

A Catholic lecturer recommends that people spend fifteen minutes each morning reading a chapter of one of the four Gospels for one hundred days. He says to start with Matthew, finish with John, and start over again. He says this will change your life. I’ve been doing it since early April.

Along the way, I’ve come across verses that support LoA. They are:

“Jesus said to him, ‘If you can!’ Everything is possible to one who has faith.” – Mark 9:23

“Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he said will happen, it shall be done for him.” – Mark 11:23

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” – Matthew 7:7

“And whatever you ask in my name, I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in my name, I will do it.” – John 14:12-13

More important than the verses I’ve collected to support my argument, I am getting to know Jesus better and deepening my friendship with him, which is more important to me than any other goal I’ve ever set for myself.

LoA works even if you don’t believe in God

Just as the Law of Gravity works if you don’t believe in God, LoA works, too. I live in the universe God created, and I am subject to all of its laws. If I go out in the rain without an umbrella, I will get wet. In this case, it doesn’t matter if I believe in God.

But life is better because I do.

You are using faith all the time

Your thoughts create your reality. When you think something won’t work out, you’re usually right. When you tell yourself you can’t achieve something, you’re usually right. When you tell yourself life is hard and getting harder, you’re usually right. (And, when somebody asks you how you’re doing, you answer, “Same shit, different day,” it’s time to come up with a better response.)

What you think about, you bring about

I got the idea for this post while reading the New Testament after breakfast one morning. Shortly afterwards, I just happened to pick a book off my shelf that I hadn’t looked at in years. It confirmed what I’m saying here. Then, a couple of days ago, I received the gift of a book by a Christian who built a successful business while placing his faith in God and also practicing affirmations and visualization.

God gave you an imagination, so use it to picture outcomes you want. Even if you’ve never had a decent romantic relationship before, you can change that with LoA. Write down the kind of relationship you want with a person who possesses the qualities you value. The same goes for getting better jobs, exceeding sales quotas, and buying the perfect house. Decide what you want. Pray about it.

Cultivate faith and act on it. If you want a boyfriend, by all means visualize your ideal relationship. Then– and this is key– get out of the house and meet people. If you want a better job, come up with a good affirmation and use it. Send out your resume.

Then believe you’ve succeeded. (Hint: What feelings would you be feeling if you succeeded? Feel them.) Keep up the visualization and affirmations. Have faith. Faith is everything.

If you like this post, share it. If you have a comment, let me know what you’re thinking!

It’s Time to Stop Feeling Sorry For Single Women

Stop Feeling Sorry For Single Women
Girls just want to have fun. Women’s March, Stamford Connecticut, January 21st 2017.

It’s time to stop feeling sorry for single women because they’re happier than just about everybody. Three of the most fun and joyful people from my childhood were aunts who never married. They ate what they wanted, saw whom they wanted, and traveled when they wanted. They made their own money and kept their own names.

At the same time, a constant societal noise proclaimed that a woman had to be married to be happy, liked, and successful. Single women were deemed sad and unwanted losers, sufferers of some sort of defect. Ending up “left on the shelf” was considered a fate worth than death.

Some things about marriage are annoying

I feared being left on the shelf, but from an early age, I feared certain things about marriage even more. I noticed that married women didn’t get vacations. They worked on weekends and on holidays. At parties, they helped out in the kitchen while the men sat in the living room laughing and calling for fresh beers. I didn’t like the fact that weddings cost women their identities.

Eventually I did marry, but not until I turned 30. I didn’t take my husband’s name at first, but after we had children, people called me “Mrs. MacDonald,” or worse, “Mom,” so I went with it. I called myself “Terry Hernon MacDonald,” fearing that nobody would have the time or patience for “Marie-Therese Hernon MacDonald.”

As my children got older, I used MacDonald less and less. It’s a fine name, but it’s not my name. So, here I am, Marie-Therese Hernon again. (If that’s still too long for you, please call me Terry.)

Single women like being single

I’m married, but I have single friends. Without exception, they say they are a) not in a hurry to meet a man, or b) not interested in meeting a man for as long as they live. These women genuinely like men, value their friendship and companionship, but none of them is is willing to dip a toe into a situation where they may end up being controlled, devalued, or unheard, which is still too prevalent in hetero relationships.

(The man who wrote this article is an exception. He shows how women’s lives are put at risk because they are not heard in emergency situations.)

And that’s the problem. A lot of men like to dominate, and a lot of women aren’t into it. We never have been into it. Economic and social factors forced us to put up with it for centuries, but single women are increasingly picky. They want men who love them and make their happiness a priority. They will settle for nothing less.

(Think Hugh Jackman, not Mel Gibson.)

In college, a male professor told me, “After a man dies, the widow starts living.” I didn’t want to believe him. I knew unhappily married people, definitely, but my parents loved each other. More important, they liked each other. But as I got older and saw my friends legally bound to gas lighters and garden variety control freaks, I got the drift.

Now I’d go as far to say the same thing of divorced women. Despite the fact that they’re often disadvantaged economically after severing ties with a husband, the ones I know are really very merry. Any social stigma that remains for divorcees doesn’t trouble them. They’ve dived back into freedom and happiness with abandon.

So, stop feeling sorry for single women. They’re happier than everybody.

How to Stop Being Lonely

How to Stop Being LonelyIf you want to stop being lonely, the cure is easier than you might think. There are currently 7,506,058,357 other humans on the planet. Surely, some of those humans would like to be your friend (Or boyfriend. Or girlfriend.)

You are not doomed to a life of loneliness unless you choose it. Here are four tips to help you meet people and start enjoying life.

1. Join Something.

I like to read short stories and talk about them afterwards, so on Saturday mornings, I meet a group of other people who like to do the same thing. We discuss the short story our leader, Dorothy, assigned earlier in the week while getting exercise and walking along the Housatonic River. Since joining the group, I’ve met interesting (and fun) people. We like each other enough to hang out afterwards at the coffee shop that adjoins our favorite bookstore.

The key to stop being lonely is to meet people with similar interests. So, if you like to read, join a book club. If you like to run, join a runner’s group. Knitters can join knitting circles. The possibilities are endless. Pick something, join, and go.

(NOTE: If you feel awkward around new people, you probably need to learn to love yourself more.)

2. Start Something.

When I moved to a new state and was in the process of building a business, I wanted to meet other entrepreneurs and small businesspeople, particularly women. The trick was, most networking groups I’d tried met at hours of the day when I’d have to hire a babysitter (my children were eleven and ten at the time). The meetings tended to be cold. I’d shake hands with a couple of people, but the format of the group didn’t allow me to get to know anyone. I hated those meetings.

I had an idea to start a group of my own, a kind of old boys’ network for girls, where we could get to know each other, do business together, and maybe even become friends. I placed a notice in the Connecticut Post inviting women to join a group I decided to call Connecticut Women In Business, and the rest is history. We have been meeting two Wednesdays a month since 2006. I’ve made connections that would have eluded me had I not summoned the nerve to email the newspaper. Since then, members have become solid friends who also go to dinner or the beach together.

You don’t have to start a business group to stop being lonely, though. Maybe you just want somebody to hang out with. This weekend, on my neighborhood Facebook page, I noticed a post from a woman who’s moving into the area and wants to make women friends. She directed would-be members to a new Facebook page she started specifically for the new group. She got lots of likes and comments. At this writing, her page has already attracted five members. Others will surely follow.

If you decide to do something like this, do it safely. Always meet people strangers in public places until you like, know, and trust them.

3. Help Somebody.

You can stop being lonely by volunteering. Help out in a homeless shelter, and you’ll meet compassionate people. If you volunteer at Habitat For Humanity, you’ll meet able-bodied, compassionate people. If you’re good at sports, coach a team. If you like a political candidate, call to find out if she needs an envelope stuffer. Churches, hospitals, and animal shelters also offer volunteer opportunities. For more ideas, go to Volunteer Match.

4. Get Rid of the Dead Wood.

Spending time with negative people feeds loneliness. So, if you have a relative or so-called friend who a) makes you feel bad about yourself, or b) goes on and on about how the world is going to hell, you need to back away. Join something, start something, or help somebody so that you become increasingly less available to people who bring you down. Your happiness depends on it.

If you liked this post, please give it a share. If you have any other ideas about how to stop being lonely, leave a comment.

Oh, and by the way, How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams is available on Kindle!

4 Surefire Dating Tips For Introverts

Dating Tips For Introverts

Dating can be painful, especially for introverts, who typically dislike small talk and consider themselves socially awkward. (Merriam-Webster defines an introvert as “a shy person” and, “a quiet person who does not find it easy to talk to other people.”)

Don’t fret, though. You can make attracting your perfect romantic relationship almost easy without falling into this sad trap. Here are some of my favorite dating tips:

Keep it short.

Meet a first date for coffee, not a meal. Lunch and dinner can take more than an hour, which may require more conversation than you can handle. Commit to drinking just one cup of coffee (or whatever you like to drink), and if things go well, drink another. If things keep going well, plan to meet for dinner next time. On the other hand, if you don’t hit it off with the guy, fear not. There are plenty of other pebbles on the beach. Keep making coffee dates until you meet the right pebble. It’s a numbers game.

Take the pressure off.

Most of the men you meet are not going to be love of your life, and that’s a good thing because if you were attracted to every man you meet, and every man you meet were attracted to you, life would get messy fast. View each first date as a chance to make a potential new friend, not a life partner. Treat the guy accordingly. See what happens.

If nervousness strikes at any point – you get red in the face, your heart starts racing, or your head fills up with cotton — by all means, excuse yourself and go to the restroom.

Close yourself in a stall and breathe slowly into your diaphragm until you regain confidence. You can also try EFT/Tapping, a DIY self-help technique that can calm the fight-or-flight response.

Give compliments.

Everybody loves a sincere compliment. Notice something to like about your potential new friend and mention it. It’s safe to comment on shirts, ties, and shoes. Observations about body parts will likely backfire, so steer clear.

Ramp up your attractiveness by being a good listener.

People want to be truly heard, so make yourself irresistible by gently peppering your date with open-ended questions like: How do you spend your free time? What do you like about your job? Where did you grow up? What kind of music do you like? If you absorb the responses without worrying to say next, conversation will flow naturally. BONUS: You’ll also figure out quickly whether or not a guy warrants a second date.

If you keep these dating tips in mind, finding romance will cease being painful. Keep putting yourself out there, and you’ll magically find yourself in the right place at the right time when the right guy comes along.

He’s looking for you, too.

How I Beat My Obsession With Onion Dip

Beat onion dip obsession
No onion dip for you, Bowl.
I once had an obsession with onion dip, and you might think this isn’t a big deal, except it was. Whenever a bowl of onion dip appeared, I breathlessly dunked a series of potato chips into it until the chips ran out, and then I was sad until the host or hostess ran over with more. You may be glad to know that I never stooped to double-dipping (which is gross), but I lost all self-control around onion dip. It owned me.

People noticed. Once, at a Communion party, the little girl we celebrated commented, “You are going to get sick,” after witnessing me scoop a mountain of onion dip onto a chip that nearly splintered under its weight. Embarrassed, I popped the mountain into my mouth and stepped away from the table. But I couldn’t stay away, and when the little girl went into her house to get soda, I returned to my happy spot near the bowl.

Clearly, I had a problem. When I made onion dip for my own parties (and I always made it for my own parties), I had to test it extensively before I served it to my guests. Testing onion dip is a pointless and unnecessary exercise because making it is a simple process. It involves mixing sour cream with a pre-measured packet of onion-flavored chemicals. If you mess it up, there is something wrong with you.

But there was something wrong with me mornings after I ate onion dip. I woke up looking like Henry VIII. I am highly sensitive to its unpronouncable ingredients. My face swelled up. My eyes evaporated behind pillowy slits. My fingers puffed up like cigars.

The answer to my problem arrives

I knew I had an obsession with onion dip, and I knew I had to get over it. I was on the phone one day with my friend, Alison, when the subject came up. Alison, a nutritionist and EFT practitioner (among other things), said, “You know, we can tap on that.” She led me through a couple of rounds regarding my passion for this non-food. At the next gathering where onion dip appeared, I tried it but no longer liked it.

It tasted like a bunch of chemicals.

After just a couple of rounds of EFT, I no longer liked onion dip. That was probably five or six years ago, and I still don’t like it. I continue to make it for parties (even though it is heinous) because people expect it. I test it every time, just to prove to myself that it still tastes bad. One chip, and I’m done.

If you’re struggling with an obsession with a certain food or drink, try EFT. Since achieving my own EFT certification, I’ve helped my clients eliminate obsessions with food, including chocolate, potato chips, diet soda, and other substances. Seriously, try it. You can get instructions here to learn EFT, or you can hire a practitioner to guide you. You can hire Alison, or you can hire me.

Oh, and in case you didn’t know: How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams is now on Kindle!

If you liked this post, please share it.

To Succeed In Life: Love Yourself

There’s a key to succeeding in life. It’s not a Prada handbag, getting into the right college or company, or even marrying the right person. Those things come as a result of knowing the key to succeeding in life, which is this: Love yourself.

Yeah, loving yourself (which is free and doesn’t involve taking the SATs) is the key to great relationships, money, and happiness.

Self love is this invisible energy that makes people sit up and say, “She doesn’t have the best test scores, but she has something I can’t explain,” or “She’s not especially pretty, but she has something I can’t explain,” or, “She’s not the most detail-oriented person, but she has something I can’t explain.”

And the thing they can’t explain is the thing they want. We’re highly attracted to people who think highly of themselves.

To Love Yourself Is Not Conceit

Lest you fret that self-love is another term for conceit, it is not. If you read the Bible (and I do), the Great Commandment, according to Jesus, is to love God above all things and “to love your neighbor as yourself.” Note that Jesus didn’t say, “Love your neighbor above yourself,” or, “Love your neighbor instead of yourself.” He said to love your neighbor as you love yourself, which insists that you love yourself.

Start by committing to listing five things every day that you love about yourself. It could be the way your hair curls after a shower, or the kindness you show people who are less fortunate that you, or your singing ability. Make note of your accomplishments. Make a list of the qualities that set you apart from all other living things on the planet.

When you truly love yourself, you will love other people (and they will pick up on that). You will be generous. You will laugh a lot. You will attract good things: better boyfriends, bosses, jobs, friends, and salaries.

When you love yourself, you will be less likely to be a victim of other people’s nonsense (OPN, or if you prefer, OPS), because you will spot it immediately and shoot it down because you love yourself too much to put up with it. You will finish projects. You will study. You will do the right thing.

Because you love yourself.

The key to succeeding at life is loving yourself. That is all. If you don’t love yourself yet, make learning how to your top priority. Everything will change. I promise.

If you know someone who would like this post, please share it!

What to Do When He Breaks Up With You

He broke up with meIt hurts when someone breaks up with you, especially if you started to think he could be “the one.” It’s worse when you didn’t see it coming. It’s downright horrible when it happens around Christmas.

What do you do, especially if you want him to change his mind?

You do nothing.

Go home, make yourself a cup of tea, and let yourself absorb the shock and pain of the rejection. The only way out is through it. Let yourself feel it, as miserable as that sounds. Then, get it out of your system by tapping on it. You don’t believe me now, but you will get stronger.

By doing nothing (except tapping) you are giving the guy who broke your heart space to decide whether or not he did the right thing. He may wake up next Thursday morning and realize he’s made a terrible mistake, but he needs to come to this conclusion by himself. Give him time to do that.

If, instead, you decide to drive by his house, “accidentally” run into him in a bar, drunk dial him, or make any other bids for his attention, you will come off as a pain in the neck and convince him that dumping you was the right move.

So, don’t do that.

You May Become Magically More Valuable to Him

When you give him (and more important yourself) time to process the breakup, you may become magically more valuable to him. He may want to get back together, which may or may not be a good thing.

Then it’s up to you to decide whether you want him back. Suddenly, you’re in the driver’s seat. Ask yourself if he’s worth it. Consider this carefully.

Of course it’s possible that he won’t contact you. He’ll move on with his life. If this happens, know that he’s done you a favor. He was never the right one for you. It’s better you know that sooner than later, so that you can make yourself available to someone who will love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Whatever You Do, Don’t Do This

If you are telling yourself, “I’ll never feel that way about anyone again,” please stop. That sort of fantasy sells movie tickets, but it doesn’t apply to real life. If your employer transferred you to an office overseas, I’d bet you’d stumble upon someone attractive pretty quickly. I’d bet if you moved to the next town, the same thing would happen.

If the guy who broke up with you does move on, you do the same. Change things up. Rearrange your furniture, change the paint on your walls, do something different with your hair. Do something that will signal and keep reminding your brain that you are in an exciting new phase in life.

You only live once, so make the decision to enjoy it.

Note: This advice applies to men as well as women. If you know a man who’s suffering from a breakup, please share it with him.

Take Charge of Your Happiness and Healing

Take Charge of Your Happiness and HealingIf it’s time to take charge of your own happiness and healing, you’ll be interested in hearing about a valuable new book.

I just finished reading the excellent and highly instructive How to Heal Yourself When No One Else Can. It’s by Amy B. Scher, an energy therapist who overcame a grave illness, among other things. In each case, she determined that healing is more than physical. It’s emotional.

You can experience real physical pain that is rooted in an emotional problem.

If you suffer from back pain, for example, your pain is real. It is not “all in your head.” However, Scher makes the convincing case that your pain may be the result of a trauma or some event that affected you emotionally. It’s possible you don’t even remember it. To bring it to light, she includes helpful lessons on muscle testing, so that you can plumb your subconscious mind for those beliefs and traumas that have led to your pain, illness, and unhealthy behavior.

Truly, You Can Take Charge of Your Happiness and Healing

In a step-by-step fashion, Scher shows you how to uses various energy techniques to facilitate healing and reverse negative beliefs. She includes my favorite, Emotional Freedom Technique (or EFT/Tapping), in addition to Chakra Tapping, Thymus Test and Tap, and some other methods that were new to me. (I’ve already started experimenting with those on a personal basis.)

You may be relieved to know that Scher writes in a conversational style, so you won’t waste energy trying to comprehend something when your goal is to heal as efficiently as possible. Her book is an easy and almost fun read, even when she describes her clients’ cases.

I was especially interested in the author’s own experiences of recovering from anxiety, physical illness, her need for self-sacrifice, and her former attraction to unhappy relationships.

It’s lovely to know we can use our own two hands to stop ourselves from being attracted to people and situations who make life miserable. It’s even lovelier to know that we can get to the root of our pain and illness, and in many cases, eliminate it.

If you agree, get your hands on How to Heal Yourself When No One Else Can. If you liked this post, please share it and leave a comment.

Reeling From a Breakup? EFT Can Help

YOu can get over him (1)If you’re reeling from a breakup, whether it was sudden or you saw it coming, you can feel better faster with EFT. That may come as a relief to you, or you may find yourself unwilling to heal and move on — just yet.

Overcoming the Reluctance to Get Over a Breakup

It may sound crazy that you’d hold onto the pain of being kicked to the curb, but sometimes we prevent ourselves from moving on because we secretly hope the person who did the kicking will smarten up and realize how wonderful we truly are. We pray he’ll see that nobody’s ever going to love him the way we do, and he’ll discover he can’t live without us. We’re hoping he’ll come back.

We’re afraid that if he does come back, and we’ve already neutralized our feelings for him, we’ll have lost our opportunity for the greatest relationship in the history of relationships. We don’t want to start over again and meet a new person. We’re used to this person!

The great thing about EFT is that we can also use it to overcome our reluctance to get over someone who hurt us.

A Quick Tapping Sequence to Overcome Your Insistence on Holding Onto the Person Who Hurt You

Admit the truth about what you’re feeling. If you don’t want to get over him, respect and honor that fact. Rate the intensity of your reluctance (10 being most intense, 0 being least). Then tap on it:

SIDE OF HAND:
Even though I don’t want to get over ____________________, I am willing to love and accept myself.
Even though I’m not ready to get over ___________________, I am willing to love and accept myself.
Even though I can’t imagine life without __________________ because he’s been such a big part of my life, and I had such hopes for a future together, I am willing to love and accept myself.

NOTE: These phrases are a guideline. If they resonate with you, great. If more accurate words come up during the course of tapping, use them instead. This is about your experience. Your words and feelings are ultimately the most powerful.

EYEBROW POINT: I don’t want to get over him.
SIDE OF EYE: I’m not ready to get over him.
UNDER EYE: I really liked (loved) him.
UNDER NOSE: I’m not ready to let go of him.
CHIN POINT: Maybe he’ll come back.
COLLARBONE: What if he comes back, and I don’t like him anymore?
UNDER ARM: Then I’ll have to start all over again.
TOP OF HEAD: I’ll have to meet someone new.

EP: I don’t want to meet someone new!
SE: I want _______________.
UE: I was happy with _________________.
UN: I want_______________________________.
CP: There’s nobody like ________________.
CB: I am not going to let him go!
UA: I am not letting go of this.
TH: I want him, and that is that.

Take a deep breath. Now rate the intensity of your reluctance to move on from the relationship. If it’s higher than a three, repeat the sequence.

Tapping to Move On (Happily) With Your Life

Once you get the intensity to three or below, you can start to integrate phrases about any sadness you are feeling. If you’re feeling rejected, abandoned, badly used, tap on those too. Tap on any fears you may have of being alone.

After a breakup, it’s common to experience such a bundle of emotions, it’s difficult to identify them clearly. In that case, tap on whatever you’re feeling physically; for instance, “this ball of pain in my stomach,” “or this yellow-colored raggedness in my chest.” Close your eyes and locate your pain. What shape is it? Does it have a color?

Tap on it until your individual emotions raise their hands and identify themselves. Then tap on them. Afterwards, take a deep breath and see how you feel.

Remember, the worst thing that can happen by tapping on your breakup is that you will feel better afterwards. And, if the one who dumped you shows up again, trying to get back together, you’ll won’t be so vulnerable. You’ll also have the clarity to decide what you want to do next.

If you’d rather not go the DIY route, I’m here for you. Contact me for a free consultation to find out how we can work together. Thanks to Skype, distance is not a problem.

Veterans and PTSD: EFT Can Help

EFT/Tapping can help veterans who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. It has been shown to relieve PTSD and allow veterans to resume normal lives.

The Stress Project makes EFT services free to veterans. For some general information about EFT, click here. For information about no-cost services, please click here.

The following short video provides a quick introduction. It also features testimonials from vets who’ve been helped by the method. In case you’re unfamiliar with EFT, it comprises easy-to-learn techniques that can be used alone or with a practitioner. If you’re a vet (or someone who loves one), please take a look.

Thank you for your service, and may God bless you.